HOMESTUCK CHARACTERS (According to Msparp)!
JOHN: Gayer than rainbow spaghetti. Dave is literally the only thing that matters.
DAVE: Gayer than rainbow spaghetti. John is literally the only thing that matters.
JADE: Meme-loving gal.
ROSE: More lesbo than a… something. Kanaya is all that matters.
KARKAT: Shy little innocent baby who swears sometimes.
ARADIA: Creepy-ass creeper.
TAVROS: *No answer here, too busy drowning in unnecessary commas.*
SOLLUX: God of the Bees.
KANAYA: Rose is love, Rose is life.
TEREZI: Who needs touch, sound, and scent when you have A TONGUE?!
VRISKA: Innocent little babby/Holder of the “Bulge/Dick Hunter of the Year” award.
EQUIUS: Pervert. Or creep. Or both.
GAMZEE: Basic communication? Words? Nope. Just honking.
ERIDAN: “LOVVE ME”
FEFERI: *No answer here because I never see anyone RP as Fef. N/A.*
JAKE: Gayer than rainbow spaghetti. Dirk is literally the only thing that matters.
DIRK: Gayer than rainbow spaghetti. Jake is literally the only thing that matters.
ROXY: Idiotic drunk.
KANKRI: Vow? What vow?
DAMARA: What is Japanese?
MITUNA: Eh? He’s messed up in the pan? No! He’s not! He’s a perfectly normal troll who loves Cronus. Totally.
LATULA: TOTES RAD GAMER GUUUURL *fireworks in the distance*
KURLOZ: “I can still talk! Even if my mouth is still stitched shut, I can! Don’t question it!”
CRONUS: “LOVWE ME”
MEENAH: *Cue Snoop Dog gifs, MLG signs, Dolla gifs and pics, and lastly the MLG headshot sound.*
This is how Parpers portray HS characters eighty precent of the time. Eighty. Ugh.
The only differences I’ve seen in my experience that Aradias are OOCly obsessed with romancing Sollux redwise, Sollux and Eridan and Tavros and Gamzee get the rainbow spaghetti treatment, and Actual Darling Innocent Toddler Mituna Captor.
Distressing how accurate this is, though. It’s even more distressing trying to roleplay with any of these awful cliches.
Come on people, cronus is a fictional character there’s not much use in breaking down the character to get a point across. it’s like ragging on someone for liking a horrible and demented villain who has done so much worse but no one says anything they’re just like aAYYY. just chill jfc
Isn’t that a rather dull and lazy standpoint?
Breaking complex characters down and examining their motives - especially when said motives aren’t exactly good or appealing - is interesting, it’s fun and helps people understand and appreciate the character more.
Dunno why anyone would leap to the 'B-but muh fictional character, STOP CARING' defense unless the content of said discussion made them feel uncomfortable. And given that this is tagged #Cronus only a short while after someone who appreciates and understands Cronus’s character better than virtually anyone else I’ve seen posted a lot of stuff about it, I’m fairly confident that’s the reason.
I’m still pissed at Equius for letting Gamzee kill Nepeta.
Um. Equius was dead first??
If he hadn’t let Gamzee kill him he could have prevented Nepeta from dying?? He was supposed to protect her, but he let her die.
OH. I GET IT NOW.
Equius was so hardcore in his belief of the Hemospectrum, he just couldn’t bring himself to attack someone “superior” to him.
But I agree, he messed up as badly as someone could. You can’t reason with a psycho clown.
Okay no. Gonna have to stop this train right here. Equius new confronting Gamzee was a bad idea, and super fucking dangerous thats why he left nepeta (The best fighter when she has a clear head) of the team behind to try and protect her just in case things went south. This is FAR from Equius’ fault, he wanted to avoid using his super strength and try and reason with some-one he considered an ally. He wanted to save a friend even if he was a inbeded in his hemoist attitude..THAT HE WAS FIXING BY THE WAY HENCE HIM CALLING KARKAT LEADER. Equius made many mistakes in the past yes. but he was slowing fucking fixing himself and his attitude unlike a certain purple blood. So you can’t even blame the hemospectrum for this. Gamzee is just a murderous asshat clown and you should be pissed at HIM not Equius.
Obviously Gamzee is at fault, but if Equius had killed him, he couldn’t have killed Nepeta. That’s a fact. (I also feel like I should mention that Equius is actually one of my favorite characters, and I’m just kind of angry that he could get over his weird submission fetish to protect his moirail.)
At first he didn’t even know it was gamzee.. he thought it was terezi because of the glasses. Then when gamzee revealed himself it was too late. Also HE TRIED TO PROTECT NEPETA if you played the flash game or watched it played. Equius left Nepeta in a hidden room and told her to stay for her safety. Saying “if he could get over his weird feitsh” is just like saying “if gamzee could just calm the hell down” pointless because its part of who they are.
I love how everyone forgets that Gamzee’s caste canonically have mind-controlling powers when it comes to the issue of Equius failing to kill him. Seriously, the guy is FAR from perfect but trying to make him 110% responsible for being killed by a guy with MIND-CONTROLLING POWERS is the definition of bitter stupidity.
Hussie literally said that it was ENTIRELY possible that Gamzee used his powers to A) enhance Karkat’s panic to the point of making him useless, B) make Terezi believe that Vriska was the culprit in spite of all the evidence otherwise and C) to make Equius too afraid of going against the spectrum to act.
But nah it’s all Equius’s fault, poor sweet fragile helpless sweet sweet Nepeta needed a big strong guy like him to purrtect her and he let her down :(((((((((((((((
Why can’t parpers use NSFW tags correctly?
As in, this for example. Do keep in mind everything I’m using as examples are all things I’ve actually seen on parp.
If a troll wants to RP a NSFW thing, they may use “InHeat!*troll*” Erm, no. Trolls aren’t animals. They don’t go into heat. So no.
If a human wants to RP NSFW, they may use “InHeat!Jade”. WHAT. The person RPing IS a human! They should know humans don’t do into heat! Like, what the FuccuF, guys?
Lastly, you might be thinking if an animal wanted to RP nsfw, you’d think they would use “InHeat!”, right? Apparently not. Apparently, according to parp, animals don’t go into heat. They just become horny (Lookin’ at you, Horny!Becquerel. Lookin’ at you).
Parpers, please correctly use the right tags for the right species. Thank.
Trolls in heat is stupid as shit and sorta dubcon territory too, not to mention a lazy as hell way of writing. ‘I want PWP so I’ll make my character impossibly horny and too stupid to just masturbate, I’m a genius!’
But no, horny animals aren’t necessarily in heat either, because it refers to the estrous cycle in females. Bec’s a boy dog. ‘Horny!Becquerel’ is accurate, whereas ‘InHeat!Becquerel’ wouldn’t be. Sporting a red rocket does not an in-heat animal make.
This is one of the worst posts I have ever made.